Great subtle changes. Nothing too dramatic or artificial looking, but all of the changes are noticeable enhancements that portrait clients would be thrilled about. You’ve challenged yourself here, because portrait photography in hard lighting like this can be challenging because of shadows and squinting.
Notice the shadows on both the cheek and neck of the model. These could be eliminated if you reflected light back on the model’s face to hide the shadows. I do like the effect that the light has on her hair. I think that looks really nice. However, I think it would have been nice to have a little more light on her eyes. They are slightly lighter in your “after” picture, but they are still in the shadows. Again, bouncing light using a reflector (even a white piece of paper) is a great way to fill these shadows in.
As far as your editing goes, I look at the enlarged version and I can’t see the manipulation but I can see the difference from the first photograph. This is a great accomplishment. The ability to make changes like this and not have your audience now that you even made changes is a great accomplishment. Congratulations.