You’ve done a great job on this assignment. You’ve made many changes and they have all been subtle but they all lead to an improvement in the overall image. As a client of yours I would be much happier to receive the edited copy rather than the original.
Although the image improvements are great, I still think there is some room for improvement in the shot. For starters, I think your previous photographs have been a bit more ‘artistic”. You have a great eye for composition and colors but in this photograph I don’t see that same talent. Maybe it is because you’re new to portrait photography so you decided to play it safe and not experiment too much.
However, I think you should experiment. Experiment with poses, gestures, playfulness, lighting, backdrops, composition, outfits. One area I see great room for improvement is lighting. Did you use a lighting kit for this shoot or just natural lighting? Using a back light is always provides really interesting results when shooting portraits. I think in this shot you should have experimented with that a little. All you need to do is use the basic 3 point lighting system and then use 1 simple back light to help bring out the outline of the couple.
You can learn more about the technical set up here
http://www.mediacollege.com/lighting/three-point/
This is a really exaggerated example, but you can see the outline that back lighting causes when you look at this image
http://pdnedu.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/montreal.jpg (it’s also lit from the front, but the back lighting provides that interesting outline).
Other than that, great work! Just try to ensure you capture the best raw image as possible from the begging. It will make your post production work so much easier!