You’ve done a great job on this assignment. You’ve made many changes and they have all been subtle but they all lead to an improvement in the overall image. As a client of yours I would be much happier to receive the edited copy rather than the original.
Although the image improvements are great, I still think there is some room for improvement in the shot. For starters, I think your previous photographs have been a bit more ‘artistic”. You have a great eye for composition and colors but in this photograph I don’t see that same talent. Maybe it is because you’re new to portrait photography so you decided to play it safe and not experiment too much.
However, I think you should experiment. Experiment with poses, gestures, playfulness, lighting, backdrops, composition, outfits. One area I see great room for improvement is lighting. Did you use a lighting kit for this shoot or just natural lighting? Using a back light is always provides really interesting results when shooting portraits. I think in this shot you should have experimented with that a little. All you need to do is use the basic 3 point lighting system and then use 1 simple back light to help bring out the outline of the couple.
You can learn more about the technical set up here